Life, Love, Loss
by Taisi
Summary: It took one person to teach him the value of all three.
1. That's Life

A/N: It's my birthday today--I'm sixteen! And to celebrate, I wrote this story. :D I'M A YEAR OLDER THAN I WAS YESTERDAY!

_That's Life_

It seemed like Sasuke was always surrounded by a crowd of faceless people. They jostled to get a good look at him as he walked by, whispered in his wake. Told him they cared, but let him go home alone. It was such a big house, and it was so empty.

He kept busy; he worked and trained until he was so tired he could hardly make it home. When he was exhausted--when all he could do was stumble down the hall and fall into bed--he didn't have to think, or to remember. If he kept busy, pushed aside everything but manual labor, he'd be just fine.

He had to keep himself going. If he stopped, if he lingered--those thoughts, those memories would overwhelm him. He strove to become the ideal ninja. A human tool. Emotionless and mechanic.

The class was always filled with mindless noise. The boys joked and the girls giggled. He wished they'd grow up. He held onto the teacher's every word, committing it all to memory, itching to be outside where he could practice what he knew.

He loved it outside. He loved it when the fields were empty but for him, and he walked by himself in the tall grass--because when it was just him, when he stood silently, kunai idle in his hand, he could bring himself to believe that he was not alone. That somewhere, somewhere in the vast world that surrounded him, there was a person who understood exactly why it felt so lonely to be in a crowd.

But when he was inside, when the door shut and he was alone with the darkness pressing in around him, that person seemed much too far away to be real.

When it rained, he went on walks. He liked the sound of rain. It came down with a gentle roar that soothed the world to rest. It kept people indoors, animals in the forest.

He ventured into the forest quite a bit, disregarding all the warnings he'd ever received from his teachers. It was nice in the forest. He didn't mind all the trees, because they weren't like people; with empty smiles and hollow laughter. They didn't change form, they didn't deceive. They didn't turn their backs and walk away. He wished people could be more like trees.

The days passed by, each taking a piece of him with it. He found that little things no longer bothered him. He didn't mind it when older boys teased him anymore. He didn't mind that gaggles of girls peered at him from around corners anymore. When he cut his hand on a kunai, or caught a star wrong, he only registered the pain after blood made his fingers slippery.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he was happy; because with each day, he was becoming more of a machine, less of a human. He didn't want to be human.

What did the Universe have in mind, when it came to humans? Why did It have to make humankind so weak, so needy? People were so dependent on one another--because it was hardwired into them, the need not to be alone. It was so unfair.

A lot of things were unfair. If one was going to go through the trouble of creating life, shouldn't one at least make it fair?

* * *

One day, relishing the solitude a light drizzle allowed him, he made his way slowly through the village. Everyone was indoors, and he was free to walk at his own pace, not hurried along by the crowd, or by a need to escape the prying eyes and the noisy silence. Listening to the hush of the rainfall, he quietly made his way down the dirtier streets, past unkept building and vacant lots, where the bright and bustling Konoha faded into a darker, poorer one.

As he rounded one corner, sandal-shod feet making no noise against the wet ground, he found that this street was not as empty as the others had been. A small boy farther up the road was crouched barefoot in the muddy gravel, gazing down at a puddle with what appeared to be great interest. Sasuke frowned inwardly, wondering who would let their child wander about in the cold so poorly dressed, but betrayed nothing in his expression.

As he drew nearer, he saw a small bird fluffing out its feathers in the puddle, splashing lightly under the boy's watchful eye. It didn't seem to mind the rain, or the boy's presence. The child looked up as Sasuke approached and snatched the bird up quickly, rising to his feet with the creature tucked carefully against his chest.

"M'not hurtin' nothin'," the boy said at once, mindful of his delicate charge as he backed a few paces away. His bare arms and legs were cut and bruised; he had three scars on either side of his face that curved across his cheeks like whiskers on a cat. "I din't steal nothin', I was on'y--"

"Who are you?" Sasuke had never seen him before. Up close, he and the boy appeared to be about the same age, even if the boy was smaller.

"Naruto." He said it like a curse, voice heavy and resigned. "My name's Naruto. M'surprised y'din't know a'ready, see'n as..." He cut himself off, as though he'd said too much, and watched Sasuke carefully. He clutched the tiny bird still, holding it gently with fingers that trembled in the cold.

Sasuke had definitely heard that name before. He'd heard whispers of a wolf in sheep's clothing, a demon who took the appearance of a child. Almost at once, though, Sasuke found himself discrediting the rumors as nothing but simple village gossip. What kind of malevolent and powerful demon shivered in the rain and watched birds play in puddles?

Nevertheless, it was strange for a child to carry around a bird with him--and stranger still that the bird allowed him to. Sasuke, surprising himself, asked, "Why do you have that bird?"

Naruto looked down at the creature in his hands. "He fell outta tree some time ago. Broke 'is wing. I been doin' s'much s'I can t'help, but tha's not much, really..." Once again, he trailed off uncertainly, glancing back up at Sasuke. Realization dawned on his face. "I know you," he said. "The Uchiha kid, yeah? The village's been buzzin' 'bout you for some time now. They all pity you pretty good, huh? Bet that does it for you." He moved dripping blond hair out of his eyes; they were very blue.

Maybe a few months ago, Sasuke would've fired up at Naruto's words; as it was now, he felt mild irritation and asked him what he meant.

Kneeling to deposit his bird back into the puddle, Naruto said, "Well, f'it were me, I'druther not have the entire village trailin' aroun' after me every day askin' if I was okay, 'cos there's no way I could be." He looked over at Sasuke. "S'just what I reckon. Then again, s'not like I'd know, I s'pose."

Sasuke was held by those eyes; and then Naruto's attention was returned to his little charge and Sasuke's head was cleared. The gentle rush of rain was now a steady roar; Sasuke pulled his jacket tighter around him. Naruto was wet through, his thin clothes doing nothing for him in the cold and wet.

Awkwardly, Sasuke said, "You'll catch cold out here."

"I don' get sick easy. Lucky thing, too, s'prob'ly jus' as wet at home's it is out here. Ceiling's full o' holes."

Frowning, Sasuke asked, "Why doesn't anyone fix them?"

Those eyes were peering up at him again, bright blue through a gray curtain of rain. "Like who?"

Sasuke fell silent, realizing too late that there was no one; Naruto was orphaned, and the villagers thought him a monster. Who would care enough to buy the boy a coat or fix his roof? Saved answering by a noise in the distance, Sasuke turned and saw a group of men lumbering down the street; probably coming home from the bar.

"Uh oh." Naruto quickly scooped his little bird up into his hands. "Y'might wanna consider leavin', Uchiha," he told Sasuke. "They don' think straight comin' home, an' they're a'ready none too nice."

The young heir drew himself up straighter. "They wouldn't touch me."

"They would." Naruto trotted back a few steps. "Jus' be careful, 'kay?" He spun on his heel and disappeared into the rain. Sasuke stared after him, although Naruto was already long out of sight, before remembering himself and ducking swiftly down a sidestreet. He hadn't missed the bruises littering the boy's pale skin, and decided not to present himself as a target to those men.

He didn't see the boy again for a long time after that, though he thought of him enough. He thought of the boy's frank way of speaking, his matter-of-factness about the things he said. Naruto hadn't smiled once in the short time Sasuke saw him; because there was no reason for him to smile, and he wasn't going to waste his energy acting cheerful when he wasn't.

It was such a change from being surrounded by fake-happy people. Sasuke looked for him, even ventured down crowded streets to find him, but couldn't. The boy wasn't anywhere--and then Sasuke realized that of course he wouldn't be in town. Everyone hated him. He'd be somewhere remote, somewhere safe.

The next time they met was in the forest; Naruto was hunched over, digging with a kunai at the base of a large tree, and Sasuke, who'd found him almost by accident, stood by without saying anything.

When Naruto finally sat back on his heels, wiping hair back from his forehead, he noticed Sasuke leaning against a tree a few yards away. "Oh," he said, unsmiling, "hello."

It was such a relief to be with him again--Sasuke adored his honesty, would gladly spend every day in the company of a person who didn't lie with their voice or attitude. "What are you doing?"

"Buryin' my bird."

Spirits falling as quickly as they'd risen, Sasuke drew up short. "...It died?"

Naruto was twirling the kunai around his finger with an ease that surprised Sasuke. "Yeah. Stopped eatin'. S'to be expected, I s'pose."

"What do you mean? It was just a baby."

"Everythin' dies. Dunno why babies have to, but tha's life." He tossed the knife aside and stood up, sliding his hands into his pockets and starting away. Sasuke followed after him.

"Shouldn't you make a grave marker or something?"

"Wha' for? I doubt anyone'll be lookin' for it." Naruto's eyes were trained ahead. "It was jus' a little bird. The world'll go on without it. It din't mean a thing."

There was no bitterness in his voice, only resignation. The blond didn't look upset, either, merely contemplative. Sasuke ventured another question; "Won't you miss it?"

"O'course I'll miss it. But mopin' around ain't gonna do no one any good. 'Sides, tha's not the first bird I've come 'cross like that, an' it prob'ly won' be the last. If I cried over all of 'em, I'd be exhausted. But sometimes I save 'em." He smiled now, a grin that lit up his face and made the blue in his eyes shine. "And I love watchin' 'em fly away."

They reached the edge of the wood; Sasuke made to continue into the grass, but Naruto remained within the shelter of the trees. Turning around, he saw Naruto watching him.

"If y'ever need anything," the blond said, "come find me. I'll help."

It was the last time he saw the boy for years.

End.

A/N: I'm sure there was a meaning behind this. Really. Somewhere.


	2. That's Love

A/N: Well, here's the second part. You might notice the tone is a little different than the first one, which makes sense; Sasuke's attitude has changed a lot, and so has the feeling of the story. Also, Naruto's speech has gotten a little better, since he's gotten a little older.

_That's Love_

Adults were always finding excuses to gush over him and congratulate him and tell him how great a ninja he'd be. His classmates fought over who would sit next to him; they'd talk forever about whatever they thought might interest him. They lied, made up stories, promised him things, brought him gifts...

It was sickening. He ignored them and all their attempts. They were all the same.

He wished they hated him; it would make things so much easier. But everyone loved him, despite his distance and disinterest. And he had to deal with the same thing every day. They even went so far as to make house calls, something they'd never done when they were kids.

They would show up on his doorstep and ask him if he was busy, ask if he wanted to go out with the guys, give him a brand new manga to borrow if he promised to return it the next day...Anything to be seen with him, anything to make it look like they were more popular, a step above their friends.

Dealing with it was exhausting, and the only relief he could find was Naruto.

It happened on a day as normal as any other; as his peers were arguing over the seat next to him and he was cradling his face in his hand wishing they were all a million miles away, the blond slammed his palms down onto his desk and snarled, "Shut up, y'fucking leechers!" startling everyone into silence. And as they stared at him, he stood and left his perfectly secluded little corner to claim the empty chair. "Seat's taken," he snapped, "so find sum'ere else."

The crowd dispersed slowly as the class muttered darkly and sent cold glares in Naruto's direction. He didn't seem to mind; he threw the Uchiha a surprisingly angry look. "Don' think I'm doin' you any favors," he said at once. "Was jus' painful to watch, s'all."

That was fine with him.

Every day after that, Naruto sat next to him, warning the the rest of the class away with angry blue eyes. He wouldn't speak a word to Sasuke; he'd normally just bury his face in his arms and sleep. All the students picked on him, and the teachers seemed to, too.

Why was he so familiar?

Things seemed to change when they were placed on the same team. Sasuke wasn't surprised Naruto had managed to pass; the boy was all but failing in classes, but his skills came out when he and Sasuke sparred.

Naruto hadn't talked much at first, staring at his new teacher and teammates with a wary distrust, a grudging acceptance. But when Kakashi told them their test was do or die, Naruto pulled them through. It was surprising how manipulative he'd been; tricking Sakura easily into working with him, telling Sasuke to keep up if he could. He'd read them both so easily and Sasuke hadn't realized it until much later.

Sometime after that, their rivalry faded somehow into something much friendlier. It was a very, very gradual process; but Sasuke was intrigued by the boy, who made him feel so nostalgic. It was as if they'd met before; but in all honesty, Sasuke couldn't remember much from his younger days. It all kind of blurred together; there was only one night he could remember clearly.

He didn't like to think back on it anyway.

* * *

"But you promised!"

"There's nothing I can do about the weather!"

When hurt filled the other boy's blue eyes, Sasuke ran a hand through his hair in agitation. Outside, rain was pouring down over the village, all but flooding the streets. They'd been making their way to the Uchiha compound after a stupid D-rank mission (essentially fixing someone's fence), and the storm had come without warning, which sucked; all of a sudden the blue sky was dark and what seemed like an entire river was falling down on top of them. They ran the rest of the way to the estate, soaked and freezing by the time Sasuke managed to open the door.

They were _still _soaked and freezing. Because Naruto seemed to be having problems accepting the fact that they couldn't go camping in a torrential downpour. He was being childish; how did he expect Sasuke to fix things this time?

Still, as the blond shivered and rubbed at his arms, glaring mullishly at the floor, the Uchiha couldn't help but feel a little guilty. Naruto had been pretty excited about it; as ninja, they spent an obscene amount of time camping (or some rendition of it) as it was, but the thought of doing it right, with a tent and a fire to toast marshmallows over, simply thrilled Naruto. Somehow, Sasuke had gotten dragged along for the ride; he'd argued valiantly--it was cold enough in his _house _in October, and why would he want to sleep on the ground when he didn't have to?

But Naruto won out. He usually did. Not that his side of the debate was any better, he was just so damn persistent that Sasuke always gave up in the end. _That has to stop._

"We'll have to do it another time," Sasuke said finally, expression blank; as per usual. "How about next week? It should probably be dry by then."

Naruto looked disheartened. "...A'right," he said after a minute, "I jus'...wan'ed to do it today, s'all."

Something about him reminded Sasuke of a kicked puppy, and he gave an inward roar of frustration, though outwardly he appeared only mildly annoyed. "There's nothing else we can do," he snapped, waving an arm at the large window in the living room. "We'd be _underwater _out there!"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head, looking sheepish. "Yeah, you're right." His sudden grin was every bit as foxlike as it should've been, though it was lacking considerably in enthusiasm. "I'm gonna go bum some o' your clothes, I'm goin' a little numb."

"Do that," Sasuke muttered, watching him amble down the hallway, as comfortable in Sasuke's house as he was in his own. Sasuke shook his head, making his way to the bathroom to find a towel; on his way back, he cast a glance at all the things piled in the living room, stuff they'd scraped together for their camping trip. Though Sasuke would never admit it, he'd kind of been looking forward to it, too...

An idea occured to him, without warning. It was so..._absurd, _he kicked himself for thinking it. But, still...He moved next to the tent, examining it. After a brief inner dispute, he set to pulling everything out of the tarp. He heard footsteps and Naruto's voice from the doorway.

"What're you doin'?"

Sasuke glanced up, brushing wet hair out of his face. "Something stupid. Come help me."

* * *

Naruto accepted Sasuke's proposal of camping indoors with the enthusiastic excitement Sasuke had come to depend on. The blond set about moving the furniture and clearing the room as Sasuke changed into dry clothes; and then the two of them positioned a handful of chairs taken from various rooms in a crooked semi-circle, draped sheets over them, and crawled underneath it all with every blanket and pillow they could find.

Elements raged outside, but they were safe.

It was then, after they'd gathered fireside snacks and toasted them with a grilling fork over a dismantled oil lamp, that Naruto fell asleep in a pile of pillows, curled up under the sloping drapes of their tent. Sasuke felt a glow of irritation. _He hasn't been in the stupid fort thing an hour and he passes out. The hell was the point of all this? _

Rain lashed at the window, lightning illuminating the darkened room every few minutes with a blinding flash, and Sasuke lay next to his sleeping comrade, gazing out at nothing as his thoughts drifted together and apart.

The moment seemed thoughtful.

_Blue eyes and rain._

Even as he was drifting off, the memory came back, clear.

Standing in a broken street, looking through the wet at a bright-eyed boy.

_"I know you." _

"S'suke?" Thick mumbles, a heavy yawn. Blankets and pillows rustled as he sat up, hair a messy halo around his face. "Sorry fer fallin' asleep..."

The Uchiha turned to stare at him, wired and tense. "It was _you."_

Hazy blue eyes turned to him, confused. Naruto was never coherent waking up. "It was me?"

"Yes..." Everything was falling into place now; and Sasuke felt like a fool.

Naruto from then, standing so little in the road, caring for a tiny bird with scarred fingers that trembled in the cold. He was so different now, but somehow just the same. That child was still him--or in him, somewhere. Always below the surface, ducking out of sight, out of mind. But there. Definitely there.

Sasuke eyed him furiously. "You remembered," he finally said, unable to explain his sudden anger. "You remembered all along, didn't you? That we met before, when we were younger."

Naruto's eyes were very careful now. "I did," he said, and those two simple words seemed to echo in the following silence. A silence that screamed.

"Why didn't you tell _me?" _The dark-haired boy stood, shoving the blankets out of his way and stalking across the room to the window, leaving Naruto gazing after him.

"If it mattered that much t'you, you wouldn't've forgotten." In the dim room, Naruto's eyes shone like lamps. His words weren't accusatory, just matter-of-fact. "How was I s'posed t'know you _wan'ed _to remember? After that day in the woods, y'never spoke to me again." Here his words grew bitter. "It was pro'ly better that way, anyway. It woulda been hard growin' up with me 's a friend."

Sasuke faced him, his anger fading quickly at the hurt on Naruto's face. Naruto's gaze moved to meet his, and the boy smiled. All was forgiven, just like that.

Sometimes, Naruto made Sasuke feel small.

"I know somethin' else you don'," the blond said, encouraging Sasuke to lighten up. Naruto's smile grew a little. "S'my birthday today," he said happily. "Thanks for campin' in with me."

* * *

It was the last time.

End.

A/N: Coolness, one more to go.


	3. That's Loss

A/N: The third and final part of the fic. :D A bit shorter, and in Sasuke's perspective.

_That's Loss_

_In one night, I lost my whole family. Every uncle, every cousin. I had no one left. _

_Orphaned and alone, with nothing but an empty house to come home to every day, I felt I was truly one to be pitied. _

_Who could possibly understand my grief?_

* * *

Naruto gave himself away so easily. Little pieces of himself, here and there, given gladly to those people precious to him. The pieces were spread so widely over so many different countries it was astounding--how did he not fall apart? But he was always so happy to invite someone else into his world, to present them with a piece of his heart.

I asked him about it once. He looked confused for a moment, before his face lit up with a smile. _"It's nice," _he had said warmly, _"to have so many people to protect." _

I took me a long time to understand. But I wanted to; I wanted to know how Naruto made himself so _strong. _I wanted his secrets.

How could he stay standing? How could he climb to his feet, again and again, and _fight--_even when outnumbered twenty to one?

_I _could do it--_I _was a prodigy.

But how could someone like _him..._

And then I wondered--_when did I start thinking of him like this?_

* * *

He was late for the meeting, so I offered to find him. After checking his apartment and the top of the monument, there was only one other place for him to be; so then I was making my way though the trees, ducking branches and stepping over roots, knowing my way by heart to the small clearing--where I'd last met him as a child. And sure enough, as I stepped from the underbrush onto soft earth, Naruto was there.

He was looking at me; he must have heard me coming for awhile. His hands were dirty, and his eyes too blue. "Oh, hello," he said with a somewhat-grin.

Immediately, I asked him, "What are you doing?"

And maybe what I said funny, because the corners of his mouth lifted in what could've been a smile. "Burying a bird."

I frowned in some confusion. "A bird?"

Naruto's smile was more pronounced now. "Yeah," he said, and rose to his feet. He turned to look back at the tree he'd been sitting against. "A little bird I was trying to nurse back to health. It..." His eyes closed and his head tipped forward, his smile straining; as though he was remembering a joke, but lacked any will to laugh. "It felt out of a tree and broke it's wing. But it stopped eating after awhile. A lot of them do."

"A lot of them?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "How often do you find broken birds?"

Naruto glanced at me slowly. "Frequently," he admitted. "When I see one laying there, all hurt and abandoned, I can't help but help it...y'know?"

I could honestly say that, no, I've never felt any kind of urge to bring a wild animal home to tend to, be it bird, fox, badger, _whatever. _But I couldn't say that to him now, with him watching me so carefully. I settled for a noncommittal, "I guess so," which seemed to satisfy him because he turned from me to face the tree fully.

"We need to get going," I told him after a moment, trying to reign in some impatience. "Are you really that upset over a bird? The world isn't ending, you know."

Naruto's shoulders slumped, as though in some sort of defeat. "Maybe so," he said, and his voice was like a vocalized sigh. "But...It was _alive_. When you're alive, you mean something--to someone, somewhere. You do."

_Who is he trying to convince?_

And he was digging something out of his pocket; a small piece of wood, carved into the shape of a bird with wings outspread. It was rather crude-looking, but it must've taken some time. Naruto set it gently against the base of the tree, and then he turned to join me near the trees.

"Alright," he said, and the light-heartedness in his voice didn't sound right. "Let's go."

Something about his face then struck me; the smothered sorrow in his eyes, the grief, the regret--he had cradled a fluttering little life in his fingers, and now it was cold and still. I was compelled, by the muted pain in his expression, to glance at the tree again, at the packed earth around its base, at the wooden bird on the ground prepared to fly.

All of it meant something, I was sure. The stirrings of something in the back of my mind were telling me so, but as a light rain began to fall I thrust all such thoughts away.

It was just a bird. It didn't mean a thing.

I tipped my head to the side, irritated now at being wet and at the prospect of doing whatever Kakashi had planned for us in the current conditions, preparing to tell Naruto to suck it up and get moving--but his eyes were on me, bright blue against a dull gray. When he smiled, he looked more hurt by my expression than I'd ever seen him--but resigned, too.

And he said, "We should get moving. I know you hate the rain."

* * *

Later I was walking by Ichiraku's on my way home, and happened to glance in when I heard familiar voices. Naruto's arms were folded on the counter, his face buried out of sight, and our old academy teacher--Iruka?--had an arm around his shoulders.

"I can't save anything," Naruto was muttering, and the Chuunin's expression became a little more firm, his tone slightly scolding.

"That's not true," he told the Genin sternly. "And you know it's not true."

Naruto lifted his head out of his arms, just enough to peer out at Iruka with angry blue eyes. "If I can't keep a tiny little bird alive, how am I supposed to protect my friends?"

The man smiled now, and ruffled sunshine-blond hair. "Your friends are a bit tougher than baby birds, Naruto. When that time comes--if it comes--they won't be standing back to watch you fight for them, will they?"

I watched dawn in those bright eyes and a slow grin slide across his face. I left after that.

* * *

He'd left his friends behind one by one to come after me. For a moment--for just a second--I wondered how much that had to hurt someone like Naruto, who'd given more of himself away than it was safe to. And I could see the emotions raging behind his eyes--and then we clashed.

* * *

His eyes were dark now, but still sad. And as a bright light surrounded us both, those eyes slid closed.

And now the waves were rocking in the rain, and I was standing over him, falling to my knees, faces inches above his, willing his eyes to open, but--

No.

And then I was walking away--wondering why rain, which had always seemed to open my life to something new, was now drawing the curtains.

* * *

_In one night, I lost everything. My friends, my team. Everything I worked so hard for. I had nothing left._

_Alone again, but this time it's my fault. It's time to get stronger. I can't have anything getting in the way of my path._

_You understand, right? Surely you understand._

End.

* * *

A/N: Ahh, it's over. There was a lot to this chapter, little things here and there that tied all three parts of the story together. ...Or maybe I'm the only one that sees them. I'm weird that way...

Anyway, thanks for reading, everyone! :D


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